Soultana (Tania) Banitsioti is an active duty Army Officer in the Hellenic Armed Forces of Greece. She graduated from the Hellenic
Army Academy (HAA) in 2012 and has served in Air Defense Artillery Units in the borderline and in Attica Region as a Platoon Commander, Battery Commander and Tactical Control Officer. In 2019 she was assigned at the Hellenic Army Academy, where she served at the Academy’s Office of International Cadets and she is currently Staff Officer in the Hellenic National Defense General Staff (HNDGS). She holds a Master of Science (M.Sc.) degree in Economic Science (Panteion University), a Master of Science (M.Sc.) degree in Applied Economics and Administration (Panteion University) and a certificate in Principles, Statistical and Computational tools in Reproducible Data Science (HarvardX). She speaks English, French and Turkish.
During the initial phase of my career as an Army Officer, I could not help but ponder the impact of parenthood on my professional responsibilities. My dedication to officership was paramount, and I feared that the additional challenges of raising a child might hinder my development. This feeling is common to many people, especially women.
Recent studies have revealed that women’s jobs are impacted in almost every country by having a child, and this effect is known as the “motherhood effect.” The military context exacerbates this phenomenon due to the unique challenges of the profession, such as frequent deployments, long periods of separation for families, and the life-threatening risk of being in active combat zones. I was fortunate enough to be provided with quite an extended leave from my duties after I gave birth to my child. During those nine months, I constantly wondered: will I be the same as I was before when I return to active duty? During the same period, I was conversing with a male colleague who was granted a 9-month parenthood leave to care for his newborn, and he had the same concerns.
When a new family member comes into our lives, parenting responsibilities and rigorous changes begin to influence our thoughts, behaviors, and priorities. Combined with the demands of military life, it can be a challenging task. However, this also brings an unexpected (pleasant) side effect as I argue that those newly founded parenting skills greatly resemble the requisite qualities of a successful military mentor and could thus be utilized by military professionals to nurture the younger generations of Officers, NCOs, and Soldiers.
Below, I will briefly present the qualities acquired through parenthood, which could serve as a solid foundation for effective military mentorship:
Increased empathy
One of the most significant impacts of parenthood on a military officer’s career is the cultivation of empathy and understanding. Parenthood inherently instills a sense of compassion and patience, qualities that are invaluable in mentoring young subordinates. A mentor who is also a parent can relate to the challenges their mentees face on a more personal level. Whether it's the struggles of balancing family life with vocational obligations or the emotional toll of deployments, a parent-mentor can offer genuine empathy and support, creating a safe space for mentees to express their concerns and seek guidance.
Enhanced sense of responsibility
Parenthood arguably fosters a heightened sense of responsibility and accountability. As parents, individuals are accustomed to making decisions that not only affect themselves but also impact their families. This sense of responsibility translates seamlessly into the military mentorship role, where mentors are tasked with guiding and shaping the future leaders of the armed forces. Parent-mentors understand the weight of their influence on their mentees' lives and are committed to leading by example, instilling values of integrity, resilience, and selflessness
Development of organizational skills and effective decision-making
The demands of parenting and managing a household require excellent organizational skills. From scheduling routines to dealing with unexpected situations and juggling multiple responsibilities, parents become naturally adept at multitasking and organizing their lives efficiently. These new organizational skills often carry over to other areas of their lives, promoting efficacy and performance. However, balancing the demands of both parenthood and a military career while also carving out moments for personal development presents a formidable challenge. Yet, dedicating even a small fraction of your day to focused activities can yield significant benefits.
Emotional intelligence and patience.
As Goleman (1) highlighted more than two decades ago, emotional intelligence (EQ) plays a crucial role in leadership, and nowadays, EQ has evolved into a must-have skill for any leader-mentor. The unique bonds and communication skills that parents develop while raising their children inevitably augment their emotional intelligence. Additionally, parenthood provides a unique perspective that enriches the mentorship experience. Parent-mentors have firsthand experience in nurturing and developing young minds, skills that are directly applicable to guiding and mentoring junior service members. They understand the importance of patience, encouragement, and positive reinforcement in fostering growth and development.
Despite the challenges, parenthood brings immense rewards to the lives of military officers. The love and bond shared with their children serve as a source of strength and motivation, driving officers to excel in their professional endeavors. Parenthood provides a sense of purpose and fulfillment that transcends the rigors of military service, reminding military officers of what they are fighting for and why their sacrifices are worthwhile. Moreover, witnessing their children grow and thrive despite the challenges of military life brings immeasurable joy and pride to military parents, reinforcing their commitment to serving their country.
References:
Goleman, D. (1996). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ. New York, NY: Random House.
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